死氣沉沉

最近一陣子總是聽到很多有關"死亡"的事…加上經常天陰，令人心情不好。

先是上星期六在聖堂，知道"下場"有喪禮，令一切都要匆匆進行，避免雙方親人碰頭。過身的原來正是家庭醫生的外父。

然後星期一，媽媽說她的同事突然過身了…

過了幾天，我晚上整夜做夢，是關於校園自殺的夢，在夢中還看見屍體…

昨晚突然發現原來我的無知/自私再次傷害了人，今天花了些少時間到St. Justin Martyr靜一靜，誰知又讓我碰到一個喪禮的完結…

之後開車聽收音機，正在播"佳人有約"，討論的話題是:是否應該生前就預備好自己的後事…

霎時之間，"死"彷彿跟我很近，好像隨時都會發生。雖然聽起來很灰，但正好再次提醒自己，每一天都是珍貴的，每一天可以見到親人朋友都不是必然的。沒有離別，我們便不懂珍惜相聚的時刻。

珍惜眼前人。

Paradigm of Recapitulation | Freedom of Speech

I found one of the topics taught in tonight’s BSP very CLASSIC. I have to blog it to make myself remember it. Basically it’s about how Jesus (& Mary) reversed every single bit of sin done by Adam (& Eve).

 

Edmond came up with a very classic translation: 重點扭轉復原論。

 

From BSP supplementary notes:

 

CCC 518: Christ’s whole life is a mystery of recapitulation. All Jesus did, said and suffered had for its aim restoring fallen man to his original vocation.

 

Irenaeus’s Paradigm of Recapitulation

 

In his recapitulation thery everything which had gone wrong or turned away from God the Creator is restored and made new. Christ restores the true image of Adam; the Cross recalls the tree of the Fall; Mary is what Eve was intended to be, but lost through her disobedience… Irenaeous sees both Christ and Mary as untying the very knot that Adam and Eve had bound together through their disobedience. He recalls the genealogy of Luke which has Christ ascending back to Adam and thereby re-creating what had gone awry (Lk 3:23-28)… The entire chain-like consequences of sin are carefully untied all the way to where the knot began. (B. Buby, Mary of Galilee, p.20-21)

 

何謂"重點扭轉復原論"？

 

新亞當巧妙地將亞當失足的"重點和特質"一一扭轉，使被"弄壞了"的一切人與物回復本位，並且更新：

 

• 革責瑪尼園 (伊甸園)
• 流血汗 (必須汗流滿面)
• 帶茨冠 (給你生出荊棘蒺藜)
• 在十字架上 (生命樹)
• 為教會，他的淨配，犧牲生命 (監管失職)
• 在他的肋膀流出血和水 (亞當肋膀出厄娃)

將亞當帶來的詛咒轉化成祝福。

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I bought this little booklet from St. Timothy’s parish, called "One Bread, One Body" after the mass for WCCC 30th Anniversary. It contains the daily readings of Oct and Nov, as well as a short reflection. The reflection for tonight is very good….

Freedom of Speech

"What wretched man I am! Who can free me from this body under the power of death?" – Romans 7:24

I’ve been tired this year. When the alarm rings in the morning, on many occasions, I stand up and say out loud, "I’m so tired." I have been trying to discipline myself to turn my thoughts immediately to Jesus and say, "You’re so strong" (see Phil 4:13).

Years ago, I was trapped in sin. I’d go to bed at night and berate myself, saying out loud, "I’m so sinful." I would say the sinner’s prayer over and over: "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of the Living God, have mercy on me, a sinner" (see Lk 18:13). Jesus set me free from my prison of sin and graced me to live a holy life (see Lk 4:18). Now I say out loud: "Jesus, you’re my Savior."

We’re constantly tempted to focus on our limitations. Jesus gave us a new nature so we can instead focus on His omnipotence. Are you broke? Say not: "I’m so broke." Instead, say: "Jesus, You’re my Wealth" (see Phil 3:8). Are you fearful? Say not: "I’m so afraid." Instead, say: "Jesus, You’re my Helper. I will not be afraid" (see Heb 13:6). Are you overwhelmed? Say not: "I’m so swamped." Instead, say: "Jesus, You are Peace beyond all understanding. I know You’ll work all things to be good" (see Phil 4:7; Eph 2:14; Rm 8:28). Are you in pain? Say not: "I can’t bear this suffering." Instead, say: "Jesus, you suffered in agony for me. I trust Your love will carry me through this cross."

Let Jesus remove any vocabulary of limitation and give you free speech. Let Him fill your throat with the high praises of God (Ps 149:6) and the gift of tongues to praise Him "very well indeed" (1 Cor 14:17). May He give you "a well-trained tongue" (Is 50:4).

無常

After I got home tonight from yoga, my mom told me that her co-worker just passed away. It was VERY shocking to everyone. Even to me, an outsider, this news made me shocked. She was still working last Thursday, took Friday off as a sick day. And today the school learned that she passed away. No one knows the real cause of her sudden death. Her husband was too sad to take more questions.

 

My mom felt very upset about this for the entire day. This co-worker, W, often gave her rides. Even though some people think she is "cool", my mom finds her very approachable and helpful. My mom often told me about the various tips she learned from her, like re-using tofu boxes (her kids study in Waterloo too). She used to give rides to the students everyday. The adults were trying to hide her death from the kids, just saying there would be someone else driving them from now on.

 

I hardly know this person, perhaps I’ve seen her like once or twice? But her sudden departure saddens me a lot… Her younger son just graduated not long ago, she said she would stop working when her son graduated, that didn’t happen… Who would have thought this just happened in a snap of fingers?

 

May we love all those around us, especially those we might have taken for granted…

 

May the Lord have mercy on her soul, and grant peace to her family.

癡

2007年10月11日　　明報副刊

 

癡　　　　阿寬

 

她說這問題已困擾了她近兩年。

 

他，除了她信仰的神外，在她的生命中排第二位。

 

她認為他有比她好的選擇，主動提出與他分手。然而分手後，又念念不忘，每晚都在她夢中出現。

 

她試過做回自己，要背叛他，找另一個他，但她不開心。到頭來，她只是更喜歡他。她發現在她心裡，除他之外，無法容納另一個人。她還很介意自己找另一個他的行為，他會怎樣看她。

 

她對他的癡，恐怕已超出了理智的範圍。

 

我記起了大半年前，跟一位資深演員提出無法抽離角色的問題，他答得好，淡然地說：”沒有抽離不到的角色，只有不願抽離的演員。”那是說，是演員不願抽離，並非角色困住他。

 

做人也一樣，無法在某個現實世界的身份中抽身而出，只因為貪戀沉溺中的快感。

 

過份癡戀某一個人，把對方神化了，認為他／她無可代替，比自己生命更重要，都是因為要扮演癡戀者的角色。

 

她說的那個男人，愈是得不到，就愈被完美化。

 

他是否真正得不到？她用她的自卑來與他保持一個適當的距離，走得太近，他就不完美了。

 

困擾是自己製造出來的，源於對自我肯定的不足，需靠另一個人，作為感情上的依靠。

 

提出分手根本毫無意義，跟心中完美化的他告別，才是真正的出路。

 

若還要在沉溺中尋找滿足，請在弄清事實後繼續enjoy。