Monthly Archives: December 2005

JIT (Just-in-time) Bible Express

After the usual periodic melancholy, this is what I came across in ECCCLC daily bible email:
Saturday 31 December

Do not model yourselves on the pattern of this world, but let yourselves
be transformed by the renewing of your mind so that you may discern the
will of God.  (Rm 12:1-13)

God speaks to us all the time… it’s just whether we’re willing to listen or not. Lord, please grant me strength to discern Your will.

“We support but we don’t test”

Just 0.5 more day! I’ll get out of my first full-time job

I expected I’d stay for a few years…or at least just try to switch
jobs internally… because I’m a person who hates to change… Changes
introduce lots of stress for me (yes, and that’s why I’m boring…).
I’m glad that I actually 把心一橫on the eve of turning 25, to make the
decision of searching for jobs… I guess I always need some stimuli
for taking relatively rash action (I remember I decided to go pierce my
ears after being stimulated by getting 42% in my 341 midterm Note that the stimulus usually has nothing to do with what I do in the end, I just need something to stimulate my nerves).

On this second last day, I heard this classic quote: "We support but we
don’t test"… This is one of the most ridiculous things that I’ve ever
heard. What happens is that this software is supposed to support *just*
10 platforms (many of them are new for the coming release, whereas the
ones that were fully tested have been removed from the official suport
list). And with the current timeframe, it’s impossible to finish
development, let alone testing on the platforms. When we raised that
there’s no way to test these platforms given the time, and he replied
by making that remark. I couldn’t help but inched him by saying "we
support something by saying we support".

As my last day with this team draws closer, I become more convinced that I made the right decision to leave


Updated music
It’s now playing 楊千嬅’s 數你 sung by hocc @ a TVB concert! Piano by goobing (hocc’s brother), 手風琴 by Veegay @ 青山大樂隊. It’s one of my favorite songs too, lyrics are so good (林夕’s lyrics used to be sooo good!)
數你 楊千嬅

曲.編 蔡德才
詞 林夕

想 從幽幽的眼圈
逐公分那樣轉 為你點算著疲倦

想 從撕開的戲飛
逐分鐘掛念你 是哪一套最回味

無奈肉眼看不到 用兩手摸不到

誰又會知道 憑每下心跳繼續數繼續數

想 從洶湧的髮埋逐公分看下去
命與運埋在你手裡 你那些掌紋有多少愛侶
誰願意知道 憑每下心跳繼續數繼續數

其實我知道 迷上你 一分一秒煎熬
一次傾慕 只願容貌讓我數得到蒼老
一秒煎熬 一寸傾慕 數著何時望到彼此也蒼老

Rome Sweet Home

I ordered 3 books by Scott Hahn last Sunday… During the ride from Kingston Prison visit, Silvester mentioned briefly about his books… that they’re not hard to read. And after going to BSP for a few years, I believe it should be pretty worthwhile to read them. I picked up Rome Sweet Home to start with, because I’m really curious about how he as a Protestant pastor eventually converted to a Catholic scholar… Once I picked up the book, I find myself really eager to read on  I haven’t finished it yet, I’m about halfway through… at the end of the "horror story" part.
This book has a very powerful introduction (it’s actually someone else’s quote I just found out): The late Archbishop Fulton Sheen once wrote: "There are not over a hundred people in the United States who hate the Roman Catholic Church; there are millions, however, who hate what they wrongly believe to be the Catholic Church." How true! Although I still don’t know very well about the Catholic faith, I know very well that the Church is so misunderstood by many people… Sometimes it seems like there’s no way to defend the Church with arguments that people would buy… Oh well…
The book tells a story about how Scott & Kimberley as a couple, walked the journey that eventually leads to their conversion from Presbyterian to Roman Catholic. I like how the readers could see things from both perspectives. It’s interesting how Scott describes what he went thru as first being a detective story (investigation with the Bible/theological text to find out the real meaning of the Word of God), which later turns into a horror story (struggling whether the Roman Catholic Church is really true, and trying to avoid the humiliation of having to convert), and eventually turns into a love story (truly coming to embrace the Catholic Church). And Kimberley sees stages of their journey as 4 seasons~
One of the things that struck me the most is how Scott treats the Bible with so much respect and how he could study and meditate over the same Bible passage for so many times… I haven’t read much religious/theological books before… Many of the ideas/doctrines that I heard/read from great scholars I kinda naively assumed they were from miraculous divine inspirations. Now as I read thru his journey, I know it took a lot of his persistence/prayers/struggles for him to come to conclusions to any questions that he had. He stayed really open with his mind to accept nothing but the truth, even though he knew what he’d find out wouldn’t be what he wanted (i.e. the truth that he wants lies within the Cathlic Church).
This book talks about many doctrines (with Biblical references to most) including: baby baptism, real presence of the Eucharist, contraception, the whole salvation history being a convenant, sola fide (justification by faith alone), sola scriptura (God’s word being in the Scripture alone) etc… It’s a great start for anyone who would like to know the Catholic/Protestant faith more…
Although I’m only halfway thru the book, I highly recommend it to everyone!!! I got it from indigo (free shipping for order over $39):

Great Quote

I came across this great quote in this article:
 "If you look for truth, you may find comfort in the end; if you look for comfort you will not get either comfort or truth, only soft soap and wishful thinking to begin, and in the end, despair."  ~ C.S. Lewis


Tonight’s BSP was awesome!!
I enjoyed it so much… coz many things that I didn’t understand in the
past, all of a sudden, (with the guidance from the Holy Spirit), many
things seem to be so much clearer.

Tonight’s discussion is a continuation from last time’s topic of 因信成義.
And Edmond pointed out Jesus’ parable of 僱工的比喻(Mt. 20:1-16) has in it
all the essence of this idea. (I
about it in August actually… but my understanding wasn’t as clear as
ths time). Edmond pointed out that if we feel uncomfortable with
accepting this parable, that means we haven’t embraced fully that God’s
unconditional love – that it doesn’t matter who we are or what we do,
He loves us
anyways. (天主的救恩是白白賜予的。)

It’s sad that as humans, we’ve been trained to
work hard to earn things that we want. We don’t really admire 富家子弟, for what they have are inherited, in the name of their fathers.
We’ve been taught to prove ourselves to our teachers, to our bosses, to
show that we’re capable. The work that we do is the evidence. This is
how things work in the world. And we’re so used to it. It’s so easy to
apply the same logic to our spirituality. It’s so easy to be tempted to
think "oh,
I want to contribute
to this group because it’s meaningful…" and subconsciously we’re
expecting rewards for it, because we’re taught 好人有好報. St. Paul reminded the Galatians (4:9):


By God’s grace, we are already God’s children… yet we often
choose to 犯賤, to act in ways as if God’s being our master, and we’re
His slaves… that we need to do things to prove our abilities to Him.
This tendency to 犯賤is due to our pride… to think naively that we can
achieve with our own abilities… How silly?!?!?!

St. Paul also said to the Galatians (4:6-7):


St. Paul reminded us that we ARE the 富家子弟, and better yet, our wealth
is not the earthly possessions, but eternal life!! We’re the children
of God, the heir of God’s kingdom by God’s name!! And this is why we
start praying by saying "In the name of Father, and of the Son, and of
the Holy Spirit". It’s like too good to be true!!! And this is why we
often forget and fall back to 犯賤again and again.

During the prayer in the middle of the session, we sang the song Abba Father, it was really nice (and cute at the same time
Two members of the prayer ministry are husband and wife, and they
brought their baby to the session. The baby was crying and 扭計before the
prayer. And the mother took him out when they went out to lead the
prayer, while she was reciting the prayer, the baby was making baby
noises… which matched very well with the theme of the prayer – that we
call God our father. Then we sang the song "Abba Father" (for full
go here):

Abba, Abba Father, You are the potter, We are the clay, the work of Your

Mold us, mold us and fashion us 
Into the image of Jesus Your Son, 
Of Jesus your Son.

the latter part of the session, Edmond discussed how the Bible
mentioned many stories in OT that talk about 2 brothers. In the Bible’s
time, the eldest son was the heir to properties and should have more
power. But in those Bible  stories, it’s always the elder son fell
into sins, and the younger one made up for it. And this is called
"typology". This is to match the theme that Israelites – the chosen
race, rejected to receive God’s grace. Most Christian these days are
non-Jewish. How can one not be amazed at the Bible?! Woooo….

the group discussion, one question was asking in 4:9 the importance of
Paul rephrasing himself: "but now you have come to know God, or rather
to be known by god". The Holy Spirit must have been with me, because I
usually don’t understand Bible passage well, but this time I was quick
in pointing out the difference between active vs. passive in St. Paul’s
tone. Often times, we would give credit to ourselves by thinking "I do
something for God", but in fact is the other way around "God chooses me
to be an instrument in fulfilling a tiny tiny part of his grand plans".
Since the beginning, it’s God chooses us, not the other way around!!!

Paul (not St. Paul )
also pointed out that when we spend our time "working for God", it’s
very important to not fall into the temptation of thinking "my
contribution is important"… In general, we need to be really careful
to walk the fine line between being proud for "working for God", and
allowing God to use us as His tools.

So why is this blog entry called 爛泥, there are 2 purposes:

(1) In the "Abba Father" song, it emphasizes we’re the clay, we should be soft enough for God to mold us… we can’t be 硬掘掘 in insisting things to fit our own plans

(2) This resembles the name of Andy Hui’s classic love song
which I hope would attract people to read on…

Thanks be to God…for sending the Holy Spirit to light up this super 鈍牛皮燈籠!!!

5 Random Things

I was totally clueless about this game Oh well, sure, I can say mo liu stuff…

1. Went out with lunch with the co-workers today~ I totally forgot
there was this weekly meet at 1… When I got back, my boss msged me
about the meeting, I was like "what meeting?" I was late for 40 mins, then when I got there, the meeting end in 10 mins..hahaha

2. Ho big snow ar… but I’m not leaving early…

3. There are quite a number of nice people in this team… There will be a farewell dinner on Monday night People are so nice!!! Even thought I often at work and pretty anti-social

4. Hmmm… Another team lunch tmr… horhorhor, this time with a nicer
feature team… And that manager said he has a surprise for me~ I don’t
know what to expect

5. I realize my things aren’t random at all, there’re all about
work!!!! Hmmm… let me add a bit of randomness… Ah Wong is very
good~ I’m up to episode 7 or so… boil boil again tonight…

5.5. I don’t think I have 5 ppl to tag??? Gum dim?!


Jeannie called me tonight… telling me that Liz passed away on Monday night

We came to know Jeannie and Liz when we were doing the pro-life feature
presentation for S+L. In addition to the pro-life work that Jeannie has
been doing, she also spends her free time as a volunteer with a
hospice. She is soooo dedicated to serving these people – whether
unborn or born – who are the weakest and least able to defend
themselves. When we were interviewing her for our feature, she was
Liz on a weekly basis. At that time, Liz had been diagnosed with cancer
for about a year, and she had been suffering from depression at a young
age. With the cancer, her suffering was like doubled…

We needed some materials for Jeannie’s work with palliative care. So we
went visit Liz’s home once with Jeannie. That time we were pretty
bad… I brought along a DV, to see in case she was okay, then we could
have some footage… But she said she wasn’t really comfortable with
appearing in video. She agreed to have us take some pics of her and
Jeannie. She was actually very nice to us. Before our visit, we were
able to get a letter from her with Jeannie’s help. So she kinda told
her story and how Jeannie helped her along her way… When we were
there, we saw many of her drawings. And she gave her drawings to us…
She was there, suffering all along… Luckily, she had a loving
husband… who was very understanding and cheerful. And there was
Jeannie who accompanied her, to pray with her, to cook/draw/play with
her. They have all my respect.

At some point, we were saying we would join Jeannie with her weekly visit. And then I never went after that Sometimes due to other things that I need to do on Sat, sometimes I was just there at home doing nothing…

No matter what, this is another lesson reminding me… we need to
treasure the people around us. We’ve almost taken for granted that we
get to see these people all the time. But who knows??

Tonight, my mom also reminded me she has an appointment with Sunnybrook
on Jan 18th. I was like, huh, Sunnybrook? Then she reminded me it’s the
appointment 1 year after the end of her treatment!! Time flies… And
praise to the Lord! My mom is well and fine… And I once again feel
bad for all my bad temper/impatience to her, as if I forgot all that she went through not just once, but a few times… There’s no excuse… I just need to be GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Two things to blog…

Someone msged me during lunch time… from Paris~ That was quite a
surprise… It was fun hearing about the French that he learned, and
the vivid description about having to work in the tunnels full of smell
of "meared"

The team meeting that has been rescheduled and rescheduled finally took
place today. My manager needed to show how open he is to suggestions
and how committed he is to improve his management skills. The classic
moment was when he showed the results to the survey questions. There was
one question like this: "If given comparable pay/benefits, would you
choose to stay in IBM?" There was ONE person who responded the opposite
Jerome was looking at me in a weird way, then I didn’t know what face I
made… then I think I couldn’t stand then laughed, then the whole room
laughed That was so stupid…


Wahahaha, since I became a fan of hocc, I thought I sometimes have similar thoughts as she does… Yuen loi this song 未來 is very special, no wonder I like it so much…kaka:

 【本報訊】何韻詩和陳奕迅於「A Man and APen黃偉文十周年」演出中,一個打頭陣,一個唱壓軸,談到跟對方合作的經驗,他們坦言合作無間,大部分作品亦是對方手筆,特別是何韻詩,她指自己九成的歌曲都是由對方填詞,很是感激,對方亦成為自己生命中的頭三位男人;因自己性格較含蓄和內斂,又不善於表達情感,但對方從歌詞中能透出她浪漫的一面,是以自己的幸福也全靠對方。


And by the way, this pic she takes with Wyman is so nice!