有理說不清

其中一個我最經常做的惡夢,是在夢中向人解釋一些事,那些事通常在我眼中都是再清晰不過,再黑白分明的,但那些夢之所以是惡夢,是因為我往往花了九牛二虎之力,都未能讓對方明白或認同我的想法。這些夢久不久我就會做一次。每次醒來時,我多數已把要解釋的事完全忘掉,但那份「為何你總不明白我」的冤屈,總是記得很清楚,揮之不去。當我還年少時,記得有一次更激動得在夢中叫起來,吵醒了姊姊。

我知在很多人眼中,我是比較偏激,亦有很多人用「燥」來形容我。我也解釋不了,為何以上所形容的那種夢境會被我視為「惡夢」,但每一次我眼見一些我認為不公平的事發生,我胸口便不由自主積了一股氣,在我未能把我心中的道理解釋得清楚,便覺得很委屈。

曾有人跟我說,每一隻我吞下的死貓,在天堂上都會有賞報。那麼,我該怎麼應付一些很難解釋得清楚,或每一個嘗試解釋的意圖,都會被一些人視為「撩交嗌」的事?我應否把這事當死貓吞掉?我之所以辭窮,是不是因為我只為得到認同,而非為讓真理伸張?

 

Advertisements

5 thoughts on “有理說不清

  1. Sherry says:

    哈哈﹐非常理解你的感覺。。。但是我不覺得你偏激wor..

  2. monica says:

    Maybe it’s not about what or why you are communicating that cause you the headache.. but it’s how you are conveying the msg that is the key. Have you ever heard of “non-violent communication” (don’t get me wrong .. it’s the name of a specific practise .. not saying that your way is violent)? maybe you can check it out and see if it helps.

    http://www.cnvc.org/Training/NVC-Concepts

    “NVC involves both communication skills that foster compassionate relating and consciousness of the interdependence of our well being and using power with others to work together to meet the needs of all concerned.

    This approach to communication emphasizes compassion as the motivation for action rather than fear, guilt, shame, blame, coercion, threat or justification for punishment. In other words, it is about getting what you want for reasons you will not regret later. NVC is NOT about getting people to do what we want. It is about creating a quality of connection that gets everyone’s needs met through compassionate giving.”

    • rwmtse says:

      Thanks for the link Monica. I checked it out. I think it makes sense. The next time around I’d keep NVC in mind.

      • monica says:

        There are workshops to train NVC. My friend is actually a trainer and that’s how I learn about it. If you are interested, I can keep you posted about any upcoming workshop. I personally find them useful (I took one before).

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: