懸浮在空中的…

Waiting…. for something that might or might not become true… is so terrible…

I tried to concentrate by doing as much as I can… as a way of easing
the "guilt"… I was trying to see how many tasks are left on hand, and
to clear the list as much as possible… Sigh… There’s this
conference on Dec 5-6, I’m not interested to go… but my mgr insisted
that I go, saying it’s "good for my career"… I don’t know… I think
I’ve already developed a prejudice towards him and the entire
management… From the day when they told me I’ve been "chosen" to be
mentored, I already felt really stupid… As Jerome said, I don’t think
it makes sense to have a mentor who is in your reporting chain~ I can’t
help but think of all these as a way to "pretend to care"…
Arrrggghhh…

Not to mention in addition to the never-ending task list, they keep
adding impossible requirements… funny how he asked me each time for
"estimation", everytime I gave a number, he’d try to reduce it… until
I reduce that number to half, then he’s happy… sure I can tell you
it’s okay to do it in no time, what does that mean after all???????
Well, guess nothing really matters, whatever "plan" that we came up
with aren’t followed anyways…

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4 thoughts on “懸浮在空中的…

  1. Louise says:

    Though I can\’t really say I "understand" your situation, but when you said "Waiting…. for something that might or might not become true… is so terrible…" triggers me something else.The uncertainty.I know !!! I seriously have problems towards the FEELING of uncertain, it bothers me, annoys me, irritates me !But that\’s just what humans are, likes to "know" and "plan" as much as possible , always attempt to ensure things WON\’T go wrong to feel good and secure. But i guess some things are just out of our hands, though it made you feel it really doesn\’t matter no more, though you\’re fed up because the "plan" suggested are not being followed, but maybe this IS part of "his" plan wanting to "Hao Yim" you lei? You never know 🙂

  2. Rosa says:

    Thanks for your support la Louise 🙂 Yeah, these challenges are God\’s way to help us grow la… It\’s no big deal at all, I just need to be at peace… and let God handle things instead of me keep worrying~

  3. Maria says:

    It\’s easier to accept this as "challenge" from God… but then… yes, it\’s a challenge, so you need to respond appropriately!! "Let God handle things"… think about it.. what does that really mean? Does that mean some magical thing would happen and everything go smooth? I believe God would not handle the thing without you act upon it… pray for the strength to be at peace with yourself and others… and do what He wants you to do..2 issues here:1) you may find going to the conference worthwhile, so don\’t make a big deal out of it… I think it must be "good for your career" to a certain degree2) the estimation part… every manager want a small estimate.. this i understand.. but he has some major attitue problem (along with other task list incident)… don\’t act back to him with the same attitude… it\’s easy to get carried away… remind yourself Jesus is with you always.. next time he ask for an estimate, double yours… then he will be happy with your original one… =P

  4. Rosa says:

    What I meant was that a big part of why I\’m so frustrated/mad is due to how I insist on things to work my way… I need to feel I\’m responsible & all that… And I probably look at "deadline" (as if it still means anything) too seriously… Your suggestion is good, since the day I\’ve been "promoted" (in terms of work load I mean) to a "team lead" (with my right hand leading my left hand), I\’ve learned to mark up estimations… I\’ll see… I\’m too tired to "fight with him"

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