主慈頌

I had fixed feelings this weekend.

When I was meeting for S+L, I was pretty happy (I finally started to
LOVE those meetings where we have to scratch our heads, trying to fix
our flow. And the Angus Glen library is a nice environment to have
meeting in….) Later, when I picked up my mom… During lunch, I found
that we’re almost speechless. I couldn’t help but asked her,
"other than reminding me what to bring, what time to pick you up, how
hot/cold today is, do we have other things to talk about?" And my mom
said, "Oh, I have many things that I want to ask you, just that I don’t
know when is a good time." Then the first thing she asked was, "all
those meetings that you have to go, do you manage to meet friends? By
friends, I mean boyfriend." And my answer was a simple no, "no, I can’t
meet any boyfriend". The conversation ended again. Then I began the
conversation by explaining to her why I’m trying to switch jobs now, so
she can understand what I’m thinking better. I spent Sat afternoon
sleeping, then woke up to have an early dinner, and went to singathon.
This year’s singathon is mostly singing, not as entertaining as last
year. I took a few videos, including Taize prayer group’s performance.
I couldn’t see her very clearly (partly due to the fact that I was
looking at the camera’s LCD most of the time), I could see she was
smiling pretty happily, but I could kinda felt her eyes are a bit
swollen. I’ve found out for quite a long time already, that she appears
happier than she really is. The show is okay entertaining, one of the
nice surprises was how Fr. Huang appear during the "commercial break",
appearing sexy with the saxophone, and how he rejected the flower…
That made my night I guess. And how I won the size 9 rollerblade, this
is one of the rare occasions where I actually won something in a lucky
draw.

Sunday. I found Fr. Huang’s homily pretty good. It’s actually very hard
to be 一致all the time. How I appear in front of friends and how I appear
in front of family. How I appear at work… One thing that struck me is
that when Fr. Huang concluded his homily, he said the teachers of the
law and the Pharisees can be compared to today’s preists, bishops, and
the Pope. Jesus told us that we have to listen to what they tell us,
but we don’t need/want to follow what they do. I don’t think the
priests/bishops/Pope are as bad as the Pharisees, but I think this
comparison is valid to a certain degree. It’s important to remind
ourselves that it’s Jesus that we’re supposed to follow, that the
Church isn’t perfect doesn’t mean we have to disobey the Church. During
communion, the hymn chosen was 主慈頌, I always thought this song has
great lyrics, and when I looked at it today, it’s just so well-written,
so true:

祂未曾應許天常蔚藍
祂未曾應允花兒常開
祂卻恩許﹐祂的慈愛常在
是的﹐仁慈的主
懷念祢的恩德
就是絕妙的禱詞
讓我們在悠悠的歲月中﹐
引吭詠唱

Then the usually lunch at Tai Woo (the 4 youngest kids were absent, me
being the youngest, so all the greasy stuff + ice water I had to
eat/drink)… When I was at the supermarket, my aunt came talk to me
secretly, saying how my mom asked the co-workers to drive her for the
concert on 20th night… The idea is that they think they have no
obligation to drive her (and they have their reasons as well), and
wonder why my dad and I can’t drive her… I guess my mom is at a point
where she’s afraid to request me to do anything, afraid that I’ll
"black face", and I think I’ve told her in the past that "someone
should be able to drive you"… I guess it’s part of my
responsibility…. I mean, of course I can drive her, when she ask in
advance like that, I’m just not absolutely sure if I can…
Sigh…………… I guess such small thing already tells me that I’m
selfish. My unwillingness (or at least the perceived unwillingness) to
offer my mom what she needs has caused all the 隔膜that I experience with
her today. Went home. Read something… again made me realized all the
unhappiness that I’ve caused…

Luckily there’s WCCC2 today… I kinda have something to focus on.
Teresa talked about the Beatitudes today, the CD is really good. The
explanation is clear and it isn’t such a drag to listen. The speaker
(余福錦神父) used stories to illustrate the point of each beatitude. In the
past, I never realize the significance of the placement of the
beatitudes, and the inter-relation between them. And we sang the Spirit
Song in the end (2nd time playing guitar in front of ppl!)… the
encouragement made me feel better.

So… a weekend that uncovers all the things that I need to improve…

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “主慈頌

  1. wanda says:

    wah i didnt know you are so good at the guitar, youve started to play in front of ppl, wah you r so ging ar, so far i only know a few chords ja.

  2. Rosa says:

    I\’m not very good either~ Still not very flexible with changing chords… fingers too short! Practice more la… Keep playing songs that you like, this way you\’ll learn chords faster =)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: